TV Shows, Online TV

I read about Toni Braxton’s new reality TV show with her sisters called “Braxton Family Values” before, but only when I read a MediaBistro article about how good the writer found the show — so much so that she begged to watch the maraton — did I quickly DVR the show last night.

Watch all the videos of Toni Braxton’s reality TV show with her sisters here…

No full episodes of Braxton Family Values were found yet…

“The Bermuda Triangle” is the name of the premiere show, and that’s where we were introduced to just about the whole Braxton clan — everyone except the brother and father.

Tamar is the diva of the Braxton sisters

She’s so cute. After watching her for an hour, I went and put more make-up on my face and fixed my curly weave.

Vincent is Tamar’s husband and Toni’s manager. Toni introduced the two, and deftly mediated an argument between them when Tamar confessed loudly that she hates being a back-up singer for Toni, and doesn’t understand why Vince can’t put her on one of Lady Gaga’s song singing a hook or something.

Tamar’s husband, Vincent:

“You should do whatever would make you happy… I gave you a contract six months ago,” he said.

“You are really being over the top dot com,” Tamar said in her funny and loud and slightly immaturish way. I wonder how old she is? I’m glad she speaks in her “dot com” way… I thought I was one of the only ones to say, “Move on dot org!”

“It’s the truth dot com,” her husband said, telling her she needs to listen, and he promised Toni that he doesn’t mind his wife being out there and sexy.

Traci is the wannabe, Trina is the party girl…

…who got a DUI, the alcoholic. She’s the one who was trying to “slenderize” with cabbage soup and kept pooting, Toni said.

It’s funny how WE TV says “learn what pooting means” on the video description. It’s the same question Meredith Vieria had when Star Jones said something like “I don’t fart, I poot.”

“What language is that?” Meredith asked, and that’s when I really knew that the word pooting is more popular with black people and “quiffing” is more popular with whites.

Trina wanted to be model and an actress when she was little.

She said it’s a blessing and a curse to have a famous sister like Toni — on the one had it’s exciting, but on the other hand Trina said people say she’s not as pretty as Toni, etc.

Trina never thought she’d be a mom (her husband looks white or Spanish in the video with long hair) and she thought she’d be more successful by now.

Tamar sat at the table with Trina’s husband — and after he spoke of Trina not doing anything nor wanting to clean up, blaming it on perhaps the way the girls were raised, Tamar said, “Now I know why Trina’s depressed, because your a&* is crazy!”

Traci sulked and cried because she felt left out, saying that Toni hasn’t asked her to sing back-up in 10 years.

It’s nice the way Towanda offered her a hug at the Bermuda concert.

I always knew the dynamics between these Braxton sisters had to be fascinating!

Traci has been with her husband half her life.

“In my first marriage, he told me a sipping Christian was a slipping Christian,” one of those Braxton women said at the poolside.

Towanda married an a-hole, and they’ve got an “agreement” to sleep with other people, sadly.

I feel bad for Towanda or anyone else who settles for that unbiblical state of cheating — but I sympathize.

Andre has had extramarital affairs, Towanda said, and when she sat down to eat with Andre, she said he acts like he doesn’t like her.

He confessed that his wife feels more like his mother, and he says he didn’t like his mother.

Wow…

And he refused to go to counseling with her — at least she tried and asked him. I hope God works that situation out and that they can choose to heal their past hurts.

Meanwhile Towanda is busy enough being Toni’s “personal Blackberry.”

Christian music and the Braxton family

“When I was growing up, I did not want to be someone’s personal assistant,” she said, giving her younger sister credence for her voice. “Tamar can outsing all of us. Tamar could be a mega superstar with her voice. She’s amazing.”

Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, gospel music, Anita Baker, Whitney, Luther Vandross were among the favorite singers they listened to growing up, but they had to sneak it in.

“My parents were very strict about secular music,” she said, so she sneaked and listened to music via a pink radio she got for her birthday under her pillow.

“You mess around and go to hell, listening to the rock n roll music before you go to sleep, the last thing before you go to bed,” he mother would fuss.

At least her mom was willing to watch five boys and one girl while they all went to Bermuda.

And she sure did thank Jesus when they all left.

But back to Tamar the superstar in training…

Tamar says that a couple of the guys that she dated before she married her husband were a hot mess dot org, and that some of her sisters need some self-esteem and some of their husbands need to get off their “lazy a*@” and work and stop putting a financial strain on the women.

If she would’ve married those other ex-boyfriends, she would have been at the top of the hot mess list of her sisters.

Toni the superstar

“My mom has this theory that all men cheat — oh — except Obama,” Toni said, describing her own marital state of separation, quoting stats that say 80% of parents of autistic children get divorced.

Toni is the oldest of all the Braxton children, and she was napping a bit in the episode — but hopefully her family will give her a break, because of her heart condition.

They showed her boys, and how much she loves her sisters, and is just like a second mom to all.